Quitting

Why I find it so hard to quit smoking?..and when or how did I stared smoking anyway? Way back in high school, I really find smokers disgusting, and judging from their looks, they don`t look too good, unhealthy and a possible burden in the society, So I have never imagine myself smoking. But there came a time I was really curious, and tried one stick, it felt nothing, I was playing the smoke in and out of my nostrils, nothing really useful that I have to lit another one, College days came, most of my friends are puffing smoke outside the campus, They would sometimes offer me a stick, that I would then refuse telling them I dont smoke, They were a bit surprised, and I was surprised as well, Do I really look like a bad ass smoker before? But yeah, One day I tried accepting their offer I tried copying them, how to puff, inhaling the good smoke inside my lungs,exhaling it out like theres no tomorrow, and waddayaknow I got hooked. Damn, I feel like I wanna smoke everyday, every hour, every after meal, every after class, before I go to sleep. I realized it runs with my blood, my father and my bro is a world class smoker, I mean they smoke whenever they wanted to, So there it goes, I started hiding from my parents, until they are now complaining that my room smells like shit from the smokes I hid. My mother always see residual left overs from the cigarette I hide from my pocket. So obviously they knew that I smoke, which they find not hard to understand, my mother never fails to inform me almost everyday that She got used to it, which I really regret from the bottom of my heart. I was so stubborn, so hard headed until side effects are slowly taunting my body, my stamina, my active life went down, fatigue came in, intermittent cough (smokers cough) came in. Few years after I find no reason to quit even after experiencing a lot of sickness, I feel like my stress or any tense in my body tends to disappear when I smoke, and I feel like I`m socially connected when smoking in public, But ironically the more I smoke, the more I was aware of the consequences. For me smoking is my hobby and can never imagine life without it. ----->> to be continued.

Iphone 5???

It has been months since I havent blogged, Things are not the same anymore, I blogged if I have spare time, that means I have been busy thse past few days, considering that I havent opened my lappy because of my Iphone 5. I really dont know why I got this Iphone 5 right in my very hand. I`m not a fan Apple products before, for me Apple is somewhat an exclusive thing for the rich, You dont get the have the luxury to share your music and stuffs, but after experiencing Iphone 5, I understand why Apple is so selfish about their product, It`s because of piracy. I believe its quality. It is rated as #1 phone recently from the charts.

reality

It`s another boring day, but actually life is not boring, there are a million things to do, it`s just that our lazy hormones always shoots up, especially when you`re hooked up with the internet. There are times that I go crazy with music, its like I want to hear the same track over and over again, I remember back when FM radio was a rad thing, you really need to tune to the same station the whole day just to hear your favorite song, mostly if the song is so popular you get to hear it at least 3-4 times a day, It was just Jamie 102.3 and Killer 106.3 who made my day complete, you got to memorize your favorite DJ`s, and shows, For me that was the time music was really appreciated since you have to spend some time just to hear something your ears are wanting, and if you`re lucky you can buy a tape worth 120 php at oddessey or radio city... Music is not that hard nowadays, it`s just easy as 123.....

2013

2012 flies so fast. I can still remember the feeling about my expectations for that year, It was indeed a roller coaster year, I was empty at that time, I really have no direction, It was just work,drink beer, work, I have plans on quitting since I feel it`s unhealthy anymore, It was very draining and stressful, I thought to myself that 2012 will be a positive year for me, though the truth is I am hurting inside, I`m stuck in a job where for me I can`t make a living, and it was all good time and nothing else, I waited for a sign, It never came, I told myself I need to enjoy I need to be productive I need to make myself worth, So I really waited, until SHE came, She came to the rescue, She showed me how worthy I am, She silently appreciated who I am, She liked me for who I am despite of whatever.
And that time on another chapter of hope opened for me..

Post It!

I recently forgot blogging these past few weeks, er months I guess, My life is like a roller coaster indeed, I met someone who would fill up everything, She was a complete package for me, I could never ask for more, I asked God for someone who would be my inspiration,God gave me more than I asked for....

Baby Doll

It was our usual routine to spend some time after shift, it`s a hard habit to break I guess. Lately I realized that we are unbreakable, I mean we are so intact that we wanted more time with each other, I dont know but I feel loose whenever she`s with me, like I can be whatever I wanted to be, In fact we have been so passionate with our feelings that we tend to say I love you a million times.
There is nothing that I can ask or be thankful for, She is really special for me, I amt truly,madly,deeply,crazy in love with my Girl right now. I have to make sure that every moment we shared is like our last, tragic past relationship can surely make one better or worse, I was so hopeless before that I thought I can never find someone what my ex was before to me. Everything changed. She showed me love that I can never ever imagine.

She`s!

I never ever ever ever really thought that someone would love me like this , I mean I`ve been empty for the past few years and been wondering if someone might ever love me like my ex do..before..I was half crazy with someone since last year thinking if I might have a chance on her, but there is something inside me that pulls me away that I can even make a move on her. and I was just in my ninja technique, dodging her whenever we cross paths, staring at her 20 feet away hoping she is not looking back. and at that moment I was contented, but though I feel like what I was feeling is no longer normal as others might think. I`ve been planning to make a move on her, like asking her again to watch for a movie or so, but it never happen. I`m like a loser, errr I just dont want to risk.

Until a little girl came, asking for a candy, nah just kidding..Until a little girl came, told me She likes me, and my world stopped for a minute and made me think..Hey,this girl is so unique and very funny and would like a guy like me. I was not really expecting for something big or something that can make my life change, but fortunately it did, She was incomparable, She somehow made my life very very rainbowish....

well at first I admit I was very hesitant, for one for me  She is very young and a lot of guys are chasing after her, She is every guys dream girl I guess.. and I was never really planning to have a very young girlfriend since I was traumatized with my last relationship that I was dumped over an older guy... but days were passing by that I felt magic when I woke up, I felt something very special about her, that I just wanted to be with her always err I just want her to be around, I was very very fortunate that She was texting me very often compared to other guys who beep her which She ignores more often....maybe its because she liked me first, I was overwhelmed of the series of events, I realize She was really serious about it and would remind not to do bad things like alcohol and other stuffs, I was touched and felt really awkward after.