The Big "D"

I took some few test online, and mostly the results were "mild depression", and im scared i might fall into severe depression. but my answers were not accurate, I just answered it based on my observation...

I dont know why I suffer these things, They may think im a happy person, but deep inside I know Im not, at the end of the day I always think of things that I should not be thinking of. And this really sucks.I feel like I absorb all the negative energies around, but i can definitely still perform my activities of daily living.but the fact that I cant hardly move on from the things that I normally do,makes me sick and hopeless.

Back when I was a child I always cry when my mother is out of my sight, and thats another thing...separation anxiety, I was raised being with my Family in my entire life, I have never experienced living without them everyday...I was not trained to live with out them, but we were not pampered that much, its like at this age, we still woke up eat breakfast,wore our clothes without breaking any sweat..i mean we washed our clothes,clean our room,do household stuff whenever we wanted to be...like no pressure at all...thats why i`ve been thinking its so hard for me to be separated with my old folks, they have been with me all through out...They have been my provider,they showed me unconditional love,emotionally and spiritually they were both fantastic, especially my Mother, who taught me how to be strong amidst adversities, my Father my great adviser, though He was one of my influence why I got hooked with smoking and alcohol but still I look up to him as my pillar in life....

I have been planning to work away from them, I want to work within the country for a start, where I have to wash my clothes for myself, cook or buy food out of my pocket... because honestly as much as I wanted to be responsible at home, I really cant...everything is always easy as 1,2,3..