Post It!

I recently forgot blogging these past few weeks, er months I guess, My life is like a roller coaster indeed, I met someone who would fill up everything, She was a complete package for me, I could never ask for more, I asked God for someone who would be my inspiration,God gave me more than I asked for....

Baby Doll

It was our usual routine to spend some time after shift, it`s a hard habit to break I guess. Lately I realized that we are unbreakable, I mean we are so intact that we wanted more time with each other, I dont know but I feel loose whenever she`s with me, like I can be whatever I wanted to be, In fact we have been so passionate with our feelings that we tend to say I love you a million times.
There is nothing that I can ask or be thankful for, She is really special for me, I amt truly,madly,deeply,crazy in love with my Girl right now. I have to make sure that every moment we shared is like our last, tragic past relationship can surely make one better or worse, I was so hopeless before that I thought I can never find someone what my ex was before to me. Everything changed. She showed me love that I can never ever imagine.

She`s!

I never ever ever ever really thought that someone would love me like this , I mean I`ve been empty for the past few years and been wondering if someone might ever love me like my ex do..before..I was half crazy with someone since last year thinking if I might have a chance on her, but there is something inside me that pulls me away that I can even make a move on her. and I was just in my ninja technique, dodging her whenever we cross paths, staring at her 20 feet away hoping she is not looking back. and at that moment I was contented, but though I feel like what I was feeling is no longer normal as others might think. I`ve been planning to make a move on her, like asking her again to watch for a movie or so, but it never happen. I`m like a loser, errr I just dont want to risk.

Until a little girl came, asking for a candy, nah just kidding..Until a little girl came, told me She likes me, and my world stopped for a minute and made me think..Hey,this girl is so unique and very funny and would like a guy like me. I was not really expecting for something big or something that can make my life change, but fortunately it did, She was incomparable, She somehow made my life very very rainbowish....

well at first I admit I was very hesitant, for one for me  She is very young and a lot of guys are chasing after her, She is every guys dream girl I guess.. and I was never really planning to have a very young girlfriend since I was traumatized with my last relationship that I was dumped over an older guy... but days were passing by that I felt magic when I woke up, I felt something very special about her, that I just wanted to be with her always err I just want her to be around, I was very very fortunate that She was texting me very often compared to other guys who beep her which She ignores more often....maybe its because she liked me first, I was overwhelmed of the series of events, I realize She was really serious about it and would remind not to do bad things like alcohol and other stuffs, I was touched and felt really awkward after.

Megan

She was just a little girl, who would fill up the room with laughter
Her jokes and style are so funny,that I cant even move on after
I got interested in her, She is worth keeping my secrets for.
Because I know She knows that I might have a lot in store.

There is something in her that I would not resist.
An unexplained feeling every time She got me pissed.
Later did I know she was feeling something for me,
I was stunned and would like to ask her.Seriously?

It`s so awkward for me to ask her why?
I`d rather keep it with myself and fly
Just a thought of Her already makes me smile
I realized She`s been there for me all the while

pretty little devil

I havent blogged for a month, i was not busy its just that i`ve been in a hello kitty world lately, First up with the new set up of blogspot i find it hard to create a new post, or i need to spend some time clicking links to create a new one, it was upgraded I guess, but the hell I care I just wanted to post this for future`s sake..
I was stunned last time after knowing someone liked me, it`s really awkward, she is very young, very funny, at times you might think she is immature, but I guess she`s not, she is definitely thinking ahead, i think she is smart.Which I like about her, But here`s what happened, We started pissing off each other, she was the youngest among us, so everyone treats her as a kid I guess, She likes thrash talking and always finds a way to fight back, I have been telling her most of my secrets since I wanted some reactions from a little girl`s perspective.

I`m going to share what I thought about Her when I first saw Her... She was then one of the cutest work mate I ever met and after knowing she was just a minor, i first thought this girl is something else. I mean at her age she should not belong on that place, I can remember when I was her age, I was then studying, spending precious time with my ex. It was really surprising at Her age she tends to work over time, staying up late..Whatever her reasons I still salute her. Never ever I came to a thought asking her if she has been considering to go back to school.

So there we texted each other,pissing me off,pissing her off, though I felt guilty when she cried last time, wanted to tell her sorry sincerely, but after few minutes i saw her smiling, So I guess she`s ok then.
I call Her pretty little devil since she is fond of laughing like evil, I always see her with a silly grin in her face, seeing her like that makes me happy coz I know she is enjoying the company.

Lakers still

I forgot to blog about my favorite team these days!It`s playoff time!What`s not to love about NBA?Currently its 2nd round and Lakers are already 2 games to none against the mighty OKC Thunder, It has been a speculation that Lakers wont win this series, There are a lot of factors, we cannot argue about Durant and Westbrook`s talent, Those two guys have been monstrous all through out the season, Aside from Durant winning the scoring champ this season, I guess he has the best sidekick in the league, Meanwhile in L.A. Kobe and the rest of the gang are trying to figure out how to stay with OKC`s fast pace game, Lakers are the older team, experienced, and has length against OKC, The keys are the big men, it`s pretty obvious Kobe and the guards cant keep up with quick transition, Kobe already admitted that, but it`s not about quickness and agility, its all about strategy, From the start of the season Mike Brown was acquired for Defensive purposes, but from what I have observed from the past few games or even in the entire series Lakers were not that strong from defense, and It`s not every game that Kobe can put his A game, The superstar is not getting any younger you know, but when it comes to crucial ending, we can never agrue, Kobe is the man. I hope Lakers will put on a show tonight by at least grabbing a game in the series, this will bring back their momentum and could possibly ignite Bynum`s offensive and defensive skills, I know Pau have been working hard guarding the post, Bynum on the other hand is still finding some ways on how to create space below the basket.

Go Lakers!Lakers still,

zero balance

When should I learn?I guess i`m stuck right now, Everybody knows I`m capable of something more than I deserve, Last year was an OKAY year for me, I landed a job which I find it so easy,no pressure, no hassle,no shit everyday. All my life everything was just so easy, I have been planning to resign and should venture back to what I`m supposed to be working, at The Hospital, It`s really true you`ll forget what your life was when you`re earning some shit.

What should I do right now? Its like everyone I know have stepped up with their lives, I dont want to be like this all my life, and I got nothing to blame but myself.

This is so depressing.but I can do this, I have to quit my current job, learn to sacrifice, learn to control temptations, quit smoking, taper off from booze, spend more time at home helping my folks and spend more time with God.

On every occasion

I find it so awkward texting her other stuffs (which she ignores by the way)..So I try to send her greetings on every occasion, like mothers day and all that, and all I got is just a nod or a simple recognition, well it`s ok, at least she replied often times, I wanted to have longer conversation, but what can I do? I`m not that expert on extending topics or what, especially when I knew that may not be interested.

Up to now I really dont know why I kept on checking on Her, I admit I am a stalker, I always view her pictures,activites,comments on facebook, Luckily no one was ever linked to Her,not that I know of, but anyways I`d be happy if She will ever have a Boyfriend,at least I will know She wanted to be in a relationship, and I might have a slight chance after.

I really dont know Her that much, we are not that close but there is something in me that pulls me towards her...10 months and counting and it`s still her.damn!

Just a Feeling Part 2

After browsing my blogs for the past few months I realized I have been blabbing about this Girl most of the time, and my blog is for personal use only, sort of an online diary for me, Having a diary in olden days was precious,it`s such a price possession that one can keep for a lifetime, but I`m not sure in these modern days,back in grade school Diaries are for girls, I enjoyed blogging since I can store memories which I can visit anytime I want. if see what I mean. and I have mention that the purpose of my blog is to post whatever I want, Mostly about the Girls that made my heart beat. So far there are two of them.

just a feeling

After all it was just a feeling, but it sucks...especially that you were not able to show it to someone. When I`m drunk I have been thinking that I should tell straight of what I feel for her if I have a chance, there are gazillion ways for me to tell her but I dont have the balls though. It always been a coward move from my part texting her,sending her sweet quotes through sms. I have a feeling that she really doesnt like me, she even might hate me though, I`ve been showing not good things when I was under supervision, I never realized I`ll fell for her at that time. She was not that pretty, and people tend to treat her as a funny person, outgoing,approachable, and stuffs like that. I wanted to tell her that if she wanted to be in a state of what they call "Love", I`ll be ready for her, I`ll court her in any way I can, sounds like a desperate move for me. I wonder if she ever knew that im this crazy about her.

grateful

Nothing else can explain what I have been through all these years, but to be grateful everyday. I think everyone should be thankful despite of the odds, life is sweet,challenging and rewarding.

forgot to blog

I missed bloggin` these past few days and it`s been a helluva summer, temperature is so high these days, We went to beach last week of March and I got my worst sun burn ever, I suffered for days,

if only

This phrase are very common in every event of your life. It`s another sleepless night and it`s Holy Week time to ponder about God`s sacrifices. As I browse or stalk should I say my ex gf`s facebook account I cant help but notice and stare at her profile pic and thought My Oh My she is really fat. She gained weight I guess, but I admit She is still pretty, like they always say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, <--shit,this line is ancient.

Moving is the word best describes of what should I be right now, everybody grows old every year,and at my age I should have gain more than what I earn right now, I guess it`s a turning point of my life,where I could have put up my own family, earn big big bucks,working abroad maybe. but I`m still stuck at my Parents crib,still doing what I was doing after graduation, Drink,booze,smoke,party all night,sleep all day,

Saint Joseph's Day

In the Philippines, many families keep a tradition in which an old man, a young lady, and a small boy are chosen from among the poor and are dressed up as St. Joseph, the Virgin Mary, and the child Jesus, respectively. They are then seated around a table set with the family's best silverware and china, and served a variety of courses, sometimes being literally spoon-fed by the senior members of the family, while the Novena to St. Joseph is recited at a nearby temporary altar. Our family have been celebrating St. Joseph`s Day ever since I can remember, It`s our family tradition to held this feast every year. My Parents are always busy preparing for this occasion, especially my Mother, for the last few years after graduating from college I was not able to complete all nine days of novena, back when I was in high school we were obliged to joined the novena every night.

O Sacred Heart of Jesus

Right before my shift I have already decided to attend early Sunday mass after work, its a habit that I should not break, for years already I have been inconsistent, I always missed Sunday mass intentionally, an hour of devotion,praise and worship is not that hard actually, but I find it hard sometimes to wake up, or prepare myself to hear the mass.

Back when I was in grade school I always wanted to be a Priest, I remember my Grandmother was so proud of me, I thought being a Priest was easy, I was inspired by Msgr. Marcos Pilar, my late Grandfather,every one admires him, everybody looks up to him, He wanted every one to enjoy during special occasions that he spreads coins and paper money and we scramble on the floor like there`s no tomorrow. I remember He invited all disabled oldies who are wandering around Bacolod Public Plaza in his birthday.

I realized when I was a church boy at Sacred Heart Seminary being a Priest is a calling, A Seminarian told me that once the Lord called you, you can never refuse it, those thought was nailed deep into my heart. I guess God has other plans for me, so I waited, so far from my 25 years of existence I was not able to receive a call yet. Maybe God have called me before or have always been but with a different purpose.

After I met Violy, I thought Priesthood is not really for me, God showed me how wonderful it is to be in a relationship, I was very happy.

changes

It`s a sign of aging I guess, before I always see to it that I have to be drunk even once a week, and a week without alcohol feels like forever for me, but since January I have been sober, I can count how many times I have been drunk since the start of the year. I lost my appetite in alcohol which is a big impact in my life, I started saving my money for emergency purposes, I jogged if i`m feeling weak. I have been planning to buy a mountain bike so I can go to other places where my limbs alone cant bring me, but after consulting my Parents, they demanded not to buy one, vehicle these days are dangerous and our place is not very conducive for cycling purposes.

I have been planning to resign from work and offer myself to work at a hospital but things change constantly that I found enjoyment back at the office. A lot of my co workers keep pushing me to apply for a higher position but I have been hesitant that I cant handle the job, Maybe its because I want an easier life, which is not supposed be right, I`m not getting any longer and compared to my classmates I have been earning a small part of their salary, but I have been happy this way, earning not much, enjoy, complain a little, expect a little, and I am in a state where i work not for my family,not for anyone but for me alone.

I have not experienced that my Parents forced me to give them money or share what I earned., but if we have time I treat them for ice cream,we dine out,just small stuffs that I know they will really appreciate, and not to brag myself I have been buying a can of powdered milk for my Grandmother every month, and never failed to pay the monthly dues on our 32 inch LCD tv.

At times I feel guilty my Parents raised me, sent me to college, where I can practice and earn a profession, but look where I am now, stuck in a world where everybody else does. At least I earn a little shit compared to nothing.

i really can tell

I really can tell or I can really tell...which is which?but whatever it is its the right thing to say, I have been watching her for months already, and there`s a feeling that I hope she didnt notice me or I hope she`d notice me. This is so high-schoolish type of stuff, but I have been happy being this way for months already. I wonder what she would feel if she knows everything, I tried texting her some horrible stuffs, for me its horrible since I was not able to receive any reply or something, its a sign that she not interested.

I admit I have been keen in getting into a relationship and have weigh things, and it`s so annoying that I have been hiding these things from her, Every time we meet in the hallway or any other place I find it hard to smile back and even looking straight to her. If She only knew I have been dying to talk to her, we can talk anything under the sun, by looking at her I can tell she is smart, or probably has anything to say in any topic, and one thing that I admires me most in every Girl is when she outsmarts me, and I am not smart.

So I`ma tell you a story....

Im about to...but something went wrong actually..I`ll be updating this shit next time...

These feelings wont go away!

Like this line on Citizen Copes "sideways" I have been feeling this for the past few months, I tried not to like her or whatsoever, but it really wont go away, I may be sound desperate, but it just wont go away, before I forget this is my second blog this year, my computer went crazy and had to reformat all that shit, it`s like I bought a brand new unit and had to download a lot of shit again from scratch.

I personally like all version of "sideways", Honestly I first heard it along with Santana`s Shaman album, but I was not able to recognize or appreciate it at first since I believe it was overshadowed by Michelle Branch`s "Game of Love" and Chad Kroeger "Why dont you and I"...

I recently saw Franco Reyes`s version, it was really a soothing sound since it was acoustic, and I saw a link and checked Sheryl Crow`s version, and boom it was the best since it got drums and little guitar flavor, and I also checked out Santana`s version, and man it was compelling, this song is so sexy and it really wont go away. Carlos Santana is genius, its like He tored Clarence Greenwood clothes while doing adlibs.

Well speaking of feelings wont go away thing, it has been not so good these past few days, I tried texting her, but I guess it did not made any development or it went worse I guess, I really ahve no guts to tell her straight, I cant even talk to her, but i have been patient or hopeful, and I felt like a stalker, I pretty obvious that I always have been checking her out all the time, I always take time to stare at her regardless the distance, just a sight of her makes my day.

I guess this is it for now.Yeah!

2012

This is my first blog this 2012, so what`s in store for me this year anyway?.....im planning to buy a new phone,but i`d definitely be keeping my old one...
I have a feeling I will still be single this year...i might be quitting my job and venture back to nursing stuff....