Saint Joseph's Day

In the Philippines, many families keep a tradition in which an old man, a young lady, and a small boy are chosen from among the poor and are dressed up as St. Joseph, the Virgin Mary, and the child Jesus, respectively. They are then seated around a table set with the family's best silverware and china, and served a variety of courses, sometimes being literally spoon-fed by the senior members of the family, while the Novena to St. Joseph is recited at a nearby temporary altar. Our family have been celebrating St. Joseph`s Day ever since I can remember, It`s our family tradition to held this feast every year. My Parents are always busy preparing for this occasion, especially my Mother, for the last few years after graduating from college I was not able to complete all nine days of novena, back when I was in high school we were obliged to joined the novena every night.

O Sacred Heart of Jesus

Right before my shift I have already decided to attend early Sunday mass after work, its a habit that I should not break, for years already I have been inconsistent, I always missed Sunday mass intentionally, an hour of devotion,praise and worship is not that hard actually, but I find it hard sometimes to wake up, or prepare myself to hear the mass.

Back when I was in grade school I always wanted to be a Priest, I remember my Grandmother was so proud of me, I thought being a Priest was easy, I was inspired by Msgr. Marcos Pilar, my late Grandfather,every one admires him, everybody looks up to him, He wanted every one to enjoy during special occasions that he spreads coins and paper money and we scramble on the floor like there`s no tomorrow. I remember He invited all disabled oldies who are wandering around Bacolod Public Plaza in his birthday.

I realized when I was a church boy at Sacred Heart Seminary being a Priest is a calling, A Seminarian told me that once the Lord called you, you can never refuse it, those thought was nailed deep into my heart. I guess God has other plans for me, so I waited, so far from my 25 years of existence I was not able to receive a call yet. Maybe God have called me before or have always been but with a different purpose.

After I met Violy, I thought Priesthood is not really for me, God showed me how wonderful it is to be in a relationship, I was very happy.

changes

It`s a sign of aging I guess, before I always see to it that I have to be drunk even once a week, and a week without alcohol feels like forever for me, but since January I have been sober, I can count how many times I have been drunk since the start of the year. I lost my appetite in alcohol which is a big impact in my life, I started saving my money for emergency purposes, I jogged if i`m feeling weak. I have been planning to buy a mountain bike so I can go to other places where my limbs alone cant bring me, but after consulting my Parents, they demanded not to buy one, vehicle these days are dangerous and our place is not very conducive for cycling purposes.

I have been planning to resign from work and offer myself to work at a hospital but things change constantly that I found enjoyment back at the office. A lot of my co workers keep pushing me to apply for a higher position but I have been hesitant that I cant handle the job, Maybe its because I want an easier life, which is not supposed be right, I`m not getting any longer and compared to my classmates I have been earning a small part of their salary, but I have been happy this way, earning not much, enjoy, complain a little, expect a little, and I am in a state where i work not for my family,not for anyone but for me alone.

I have not experienced that my Parents forced me to give them money or share what I earned., but if we have time I treat them for ice cream,we dine out,just small stuffs that I know they will really appreciate, and not to brag myself I have been buying a can of powdered milk for my Grandmother every month, and never failed to pay the monthly dues on our 32 inch LCD tv.

At times I feel guilty my Parents raised me, sent me to college, where I can practice and earn a profession, but look where I am now, stuck in a world where everybody else does. At least I earn a little shit compared to nothing.

i really can tell

I really can tell or I can really tell...which is which?but whatever it is its the right thing to say, I have been watching her for months already, and there`s a feeling that I hope she didnt notice me or I hope she`d notice me. This is so high-schoolish type of stuff, but I have been happy being this way for months already. I wonder what she would feel if she knows everything, I tried texting her some horrible stuffs, for me its horrible since I was not able to receive any reply or something, its a sign that she not interested.

I admit I have been keen in getting into a relationship and have weigh things, and it`s so annoying that I have been hiding these things from her, Every time we meet in the hallway or any other place I find it hard to smile back and even looking straight to her. If She only knew I have been dying to talk to her, we can talk anything under the sun, by looking at her I can tell she is smart, or probably has anything to say in any topic, and one thing that I admires me most in every Girl is when she outsmarts me, and I am not smart.

So I`ma tell you a story....

Im about to...but something went wrong actually..I`ll be updating this shit next time...